Dear Children
I love you both more than anything but following our rather stressful day yesterday, I think it would be a good idea to lay down some school holiday ground rules:
* Just because it’s the school holidays, you do not need to be doing something every minute of the day! I do not have the time, money or patience to constantly entertain you every minute of every day….
* When I go to the trouble of setting up the paints or the playdough then I expect it to take slightly more than 5 minutes before you declare that you are bored….
* If I tell you that we can’t do something because (a) it’s raining, (b) I am skint until payday or (c) I just don’t want to, you really should know that I will get angry if you tell me that it’s not fair because I never let you do anything!
* It would be beneficial to all concerned if everyone stayed in bed until at least eight o clock, it would help my mood considerably if I was not woken up before seven o clock with screams of victory because one of you managed to knock the other of the track at Mario Kart on the Wii.
* It does not count as tidying your bedroom up if you just hide everything under your bed – Remember, just because Daddy does something, doesn’t mean it’s right!
If we follow these simple rules, we may just make it to next Monday morning in one peace!
All my love,
Mammy
Dear Husband
I fully appreciate that you worked nights last night but when you wake up, I wxpect you to come dowstairs and spend time with your beatiful children rather than hide upstairs and play on your new I-Phone.
I’m not deaf you know, I can hear you 😉
Yours forever
Wifey
Dear Television
Please be aware that I expect you to do your fair share of babysitting our little bundles of joy this week while they are off school.
I would be very grateful if you could pass this message on to your good friends the Wii and the DVD player.
Kind Regards
Magic Mummy
Dear Wacky Warehouse
I thought it best to notify you that I will be visiting your establishment this afternoon with my two children. As you are aware, there was a small incident last time we came when my darling daughter arranged a boys against girl battle in the ball pool.
In her defence I don’t think she expected every child in the ball pool to join in and she has promised me that there will not be a repeat performance this afternoon.
Kind Regards
Magic Mummy
Dear Glass of Wine
I am very much looking forward to our rendezvous this evening.
Your lovingly
Magic Mummy
