A Working Mum’s Guilt….

July 26, 2012 By Cassandra
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I know that I shouldn’t be feeling guilty right now.

I have to work to pay the bills and if I didn’t then we wouldn’t be able to live in a nice house with nice things.

But I do feel guilty – I feel guilty that the children don’t know whether they’re coming or going as I’m having to rely on different friends and family to look after them every day. I feel guilty that I have to go to work and leave them with other people when it’s me who should be spending time with them. I even feel guilty because I’m not giving them the fun Summer Holiday memories that my parents gave me.

So, in an attempt to squeeze as much in as possible after I get home from work around three, we’ve done something every day since they broke up from school last Thursday. We’ve been to the skate park (twice), we’ve been swimming and played at the park. We’ve been to friends houses and had friends round to play. We’ve built a den, baked cakes, had a crafty session and even had a movie night. That’s on top of the music festival I took Miss Frugal to on Sunday!

And you know what? I’m now absolutely exhausted.

So now I feel guilty and I’m tired aswell. And I have to work late tomorrow. And it’s my turn to work Saturday at work which makes this week a six day week.

I could cry right now but I’m not going to because I don’t have time – I have to catch up on the housework I haven’t got time to do during the day!

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screaminginsuberbia 70p · 662 weeks ago

Chin up Mrs. Not long till you have a whole two weeks off with them and your know what you are the perfect mum for your children. They love you

1 reply · active 660 weeks ago

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Cass@FrugalFamily 96p · 660 weeks ago

Aw thanks very much lovely lady x

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Snafflesmummy · 662 weeks ago

Don't feel guilty. You work for a reason and they get to do nice things with the money you earn.

I know how you feel. Heard my son telling his nanna that he didn't know who was looking after him tomorrow. Made me very sad.

1 reply · active 660 weeks ago

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Cass@FrugalFamily 96p · 660 weeks ago

It's awful isn't it but I know you're right, we work to pay the bills and to give them nice things ;-)

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Working Mum · 662 weeks ago

I've often thought that a working mum is in need of a wife, sounds like you could do with one right now. Keep up the good work and I'm sure your children will remember the time they spend with you and not without you!

1 reply · active 660 weeks ago

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Cass@FrugalFamily 96p · 660 weeks ago

I love this:

I'm sure your children will remember the time they spend with you and not without you!

I think it's my new motto....

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Mrs M · 662 weeks ago

Bless you. I'm going back to work full-time in a couple of months after over a year of maternity leave. I'm really worried about getting everything done as well as spending time with little J. Sounds like you are making a great effort and doing a fab job. The housework can wait...

M
x

1 reply · active 660 weeks ago

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Cass@FrugalFamily 96p · 660 weeks ago

Ah thanks very much, I'm sure you'll manage fine when you go back to work too x x

And you're right, the housework can wait x

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Karin Jones · 662 weeks ago

Please try not to feel so bad........ you are doing the best thing for your children. It is a strong person that goes through all of this heart ache, meanwhile you are leading by example and teaching them a work ethic that will stay with them for a lifetime. You are genuinely admorable, keep being fab__K xxx

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Frugal queen · 662 weeks ago

It's not easy to get it right. I stayed at home and didn't work until the youngest was ten, I then worked term time only , which has always been the best option - might that work for you - time is far more precious than possessions , most of which they can do without xx Froogs xx

1 reply · active 660 weeks ago

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Cass@FrugalFamily 96p · 660 weeks ago

They can do without most of their possessions (except their 3DS' and Miss Frugal's handbag collection lol) but I still have to work to pay the bills I'm afraid....

I'd really love a term time only job but they don't seem to be very easy to come by as so many other working parents want the same thing. Also, money is a big factor, I have a good job that pays well for my part time hours and I don't think I'd get that if I looked at a new job.

I love the comment made above though 'I'm sure your children will remember the time they spend with you and not without you!' and I'm going to think of that whenever I feel a bit down about it.

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Becky · 662 weeks ago

Term time jobs are a bit hard to come by unless you teach!!

Cass I know many parents who have time witht their kids but give them very little energy. You give them your full attention and energy they are happy and thriving. Take care of yourself too (my dad yused to take us to the cinema and get a little nap in that way!)

1 reply · active 660 weeks ago

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Cass@FrugalFamily 96p · 660 weeks ago

Aaah thanks lovely lady - I took them to the pictures to see Ice Age 4 the other day and I *may* have shut my eyes for a few minutes so thanks for that little top lol x

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joannadunlop17 29p · 662 weeks ago

I feel your pain Cass. I beat myself up about this too. I'm on mat leave just now but thinking & preparing to go back has brought the feelings back again. Big hugs. We shouldn't beat ourselves up. We are fab parents the fact we feel guilty proves that!!

1 reply · active 660 weeks ago

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Cass@FrugalFamily 96p · 660 weeks ago

You're right we are fab parents. It must be hard knowing you're coming to the end of your maternity leave, I think my two were similar ages to yours when I went back to work and I hated going back as I'd had a year off to spend with. Bethan was a toddler so we'd had loads of fun and I felt like it was never going to be the same again (me, drama queen?) but with a bit of juggling and organisation, you can do it x x

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mymummyspennies · 662 weeks ago

I feel exactly the same! I've been working overtime so 6 day weeks for the last month so we can afford to do nice things on the one day off and also save some pennies for a week away next month, but it does take it's toll! And the guilt is always there however hard we try! Don't beat yourself up and try to look after yourself, maybe try to take a few evenings to relax with the kids or let them run round and show off to you while you take a rest and watch...

1 reply · active 660 weeks ago

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Cass@FrugalFamily 96p · 660 weeks ago

That's definitely the best motivation for working - to know it's for treats and fun time with the kids!

Thanks very much x x

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PhotoPuddle · 662 weeks ago

Don't feel guilty. Sounds like they've been having a rather fab summer hols to me!

1 reply · active 660 weeks ago

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Cass@FrugalFamily 96p · 660 weeks ago

Thank you - they're having fun and I'm shattered lol

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frugal queen · 661 weeks ago

Hi Becky/Cass - you all have the right to part time work/job share and you don't know if you don't ask. They certainly can't sack you if you just ask - see HR, speak to your union and get advice. Banks, major companies such as M&S, supermarkets, the NHS, local authorities and the civil service have employees who work term time only and would rather keep well trained and qualified employees than retrain new staff.

1 reply · active 660 weeks ago

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Cass@FrugalFamily 96p · 660 weeks ago

I already work part time and I can't really afford to reduce my hours any less. Also my role is definitely not suitable for term time only work, although that would be great. Even if it was possible though, I'd have the money issue as that would certainly mean less money.

Thanks for the suggestions though x

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hjneale 1p · 661 weeks ago

Hi there! I go know where you are coming from - its so hard fitting everything in, and the guilt too...

1 reply · active 660 weeks ago

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Cass@FrugalFamily 96p · 660 weeks ago

I'm glad I'm not the only one - even knowing that makes me feel better x

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Betty · 641 weeks ago

I know how you feel. That's why I explained to my kids as soon as possible how we wouldn't be living in a comfortable John Hayson-designed home if me and my husband never worked as hard as as did for it.

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