Warning : This post contains a serious amount of question marks!
I have a decision to make soon.
Although actually I think I’ve already made the decision, I’m just not sure if it’s the right one.
Miss Frugal is going up in to Year 6 when she goes back to school in September and yesterday, I got the forms for choosing a secondary school for her to go to. We have two choices really – the Academy less than five minutes walk from our house with the not so great Ofsted report or the Catholic school that’s a bit further away with the excellent Ofsted report.
On paper the decision should be easy – clearly you would send your child to the best school that you can because you want to give them the best possible start to life.
But…. All of her friends will be going to the Academy and as they’ve been together in the same class since Reception class, I know that it’ll be hard for her to start over again knowing no one. She’s very confident and outgoing at the moment – what if putting her in an environment where everyone knows everyone other than her is bad for her? What if she finds it difficult to make friends and loses some of that confidence?
And then there’s the fact that although the Academy has a poor Ofsted report and a not great reputation, they do have plans in place to improve and she’s very bright, so surely she would do well wherever she went to school???
Should I let her go to the Academy and trust that she will work hard and hope that with our support she will thrive as she would at the other school? Clearly this is the easiest option as we’re right in the catchment area and all of her friends are going there.
Or should I apply for the Catholic school, knowing that we may not get her in as we’re not religious and we’re only just in the catchment area?
What would you do?
If I told you that I had decided that I was going to apply for the Catholic school knowing that I would split her up from all her friends if she gets in, would you think I was a bad parent?
Because that’s kind of how I feel at the moment.
Justine · 594 weeks ago
Mum Reinvented · 594 weeks ago
My school had excellent ofsted reports, I got good results but I didn't revise for any exam as I was too busy having fun and going out with my friends to revise when I was younger and I could have done better but that just goes to show league tables don't mean a thing, it's the child and whether they choose to do well in their exams etc, not the school you put them in. There were kids in the high school down the road that had terrible ofsted results who got better exam results than I did at the grammar school because they worked their bums off and didn't mess about like I did. If she's bright and willing to try hard she'll do well at any school. I know it must be a huge worry but you almost have to put your trust in her not the school and if the school's really that bad once she's been there a year you can always move her as a last resort and vice versa if she doesn't get on well at the other school x
Domestic Goddesque · 594 weeks ago
Older Single Mum · 594 weeks ago
Camilla · 594 weeks ago
@CharlTaylor · 594 weeks ago
They chose the local one.
I did brilliantly at school. No school is free from bullies, or trouble causers, or bad teachers, but if you are a good pupil and want to do well, you will. At the same time, good friends last, others don't. Not many of us are still friends with our primary school friends, even though, at the time, I cried my eyes out when my parents told me their decision. My new school were so good - helping with intro days and helping me make friends - we all have to make new friends - it's part of life.
I was happy. I'm happy now. And I'm not lacking in friends at all. They may not be as close as I'd like, but that's more to do with motherhood than anything else.
Friends can be fickle and may not last a lifetime, but your education keeps on giving well into your future.
afewmoresteps 74p · 594 weeks ago
Friends are important. Don't get me wrong. They are. But if the year after that they move themselves? Or they change class? Or the school doesn't implement those improvement plans? If you had no other choice i would say go to the academy and make sure she gets the best education with extras and things outside the school. But if you have the option for a better school, with better education, probably nice new girls, and an excellent Ofsted, which is rather tough to come by. I moved a lot as a kid. It does has its prices, but it is really not the end of the world, and our children deserve the best we can give them.
Anyway it's just because you asked what we would do... I am sure any decision you reach is the right one, because there is no right and wrong, and you know - you can never know what would happen really with the road not taken. Good luck!
Orli
Sarah Palmer · 594 weeks ago
We visited both, and some out of catchment area just to get a feel for them. In the end we went with the grammar. He has made new friends, and is still I'm contact with many from his old school. So now has more. It wasnt an easy decision, but I'm glad we made that choice now.
Good luck with choosing x
sonyacisco 62p · 594 weeks ago
Karen · 594 weeks ago
sandy · 594 weeks ago
And no, you are far from a bad parent. it is your job to make the tough decisions and to do what you think is best. Trust yourself and let yourself off the hook if you can.
Becca · 594 weeks ago
We were in a similar position last September - a poor academy that all friends were going to, a secondary that I didn't think was right and a secondary that had a good ofstead, a good reputation and just seemed right. After looking round all three, the academy and the second secondary more than twice(!) both my son and I chose the secondary knowing that he would likely be on his own. As it turns out, one other friend is going, they start in two weeks and are both excited. They have also seen lots of their current friends over the holidays and plan to meet up lots plus chat via phone/text/Skype!
Molly · 594 weeks ago
joannemallon 28p · 594 weeks ago
@ummlilia · 594 weeks ago
CTMom · 593 weeks ago
Amy Livesey · 593 weeks ago
debtgonecom 4p · 592 weeks ago
Rather than getting dependent on certain people (friends) from this early age, focus your daughter on being able to meet new friends, have the social skills, learn to love to help people and be helped. Making new friends literally takes easy-going kids half a day, so you could prepare her for that, describe how nice it is to start things over in a new group of people (and it is nice!).
So do what you think is best and help yuor daughter enjoy it.
Purely my 2 cents, feel free to disagree :)
@Keynko · 588 weeks ago
You have to do what is right for your family, but she is the one who has to go there everyday, and sometimes we have to step back as parents and let them make decisions for themselves. Talk to her about it, the pro and cons of both schools and maybe let her decide.
Ofsted and league tables aren't everything!
ramblingssuburbanmummy 13p · 588 weeks ago
You can't act on what if's, you have to act on what you know now and what your gut tells you.
Fi Phillips · 588 weeks ago