I thought we’d start the week off with some jokes about money to make you smile today!
Don’t ask me why as I genuinely can’t remember what started this, but last week, I was on the phone with someone and we were both Googling dad jokes and sharing them and I proper laughed at some of them – to the point that when I hung up the phone, I was in a much better mood than when I’d answered it.
It did feel good to laugh about something so ridiculously random so I thought I’d put together a round up of jokes for you lovely lot and obviously, with this being a frugal (ish) blog, I thought I’d stay on-brand with some side-splitting jokes about money.
25 Jokes about money
1. Why is money called ‘dough’?
Because we all knead it!
2. Why did the robber take a shower before he robbed the bank?
So he could make a clean getaway!
3. Why don’t wasps ever want to spend any money?
It’s because they’re stingy.
4. What did the duck say when he was paying for his shopping?
Just put it on my bill!
5. Knock, knock! Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
You’re nuts.
6. What kind of car does a sushi chef who makes loads of money drive?
A Rolls-Rice.
7. A man walks into the bank and shouts “Give me all your money or you’ll be geography!”
The cashier replies “Don’t you mean history?”
The robber yells back “Don’t change the subject!”
8. Why was the skeleton too scared to rob the bank?
He didn’t have the guts.
9. I managed to lose my job at the bank on my first day.
An old woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
10. Did you hear about the poor cash machine that got addicted to money?
I heard it was suffering from withdrawals.
11. How much money does a skunk have in the bank?
Just one scent.
12. Where does Dracula keep his money?
In a blood bank.
13. Why didn’t the man report it to the police when his credit card got stolen?
Because the thief was spending less than his wife.
14. How did the dinosaur pay for his new car?
With Tyrannosaurus checks!
15. Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
Because they’re so good at saving.
16. What’s the best thing to eat if you want to get rich?
Fortune cookies!
17. What would you call it if you lend some money to a bison?
Obviously, a Buff-a-loan.
18. What would a stockbroker say to another stockbroker when they wanted the other person to stop talking?
Put a stock in it!
19. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Hanover.
Hanover who?
Hanover your money.
20. Why did the cat swallow a coin?
So there was money in the kitty!
21. Why did the man get put in prison for accidentally dropping some money in his washing machine?
The police thought that he was laundering money.
22. My bank loves me.
They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.
23. What did the man say when his landlord said he needed to talk to him about his high heating bill?
No worries, my door’s always open.
24. Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Robin.
Robin who?
I’m Robin’ you so hand over all your money.
25. How do you make money in a dog exercising business?
I’m not sure but I think it should be a walk in the park.
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