Dear Mr Frugal
Just a quick note to let you know that I’ll be going out to a works do tomorrrow night. I wanted to give you advance warning that not only will there be welcome cocktails and lots of bottles of wine on the tables, there will also be 5 free drinks vouchers for everyone.
As a result, there is a chance that I will be slightly tipsy when I get home, therefore, I would appreciate it if you could ensure that I am put to bed in my bed and not the sofa (or wherever I drop).
Also I would like to take this opportunity to apologise in advance for waking the children up when I rather noisily stomp up the stairs and for leaving you to deal with getting them back off to sleep and I also think now would be a good time to remind you that it’s been ages since I’ve had a good night out and I bloody well deserve it.
Thanks
Your darling wife
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Dear Children
Mammy may be feeling slightly delicate on Saturday morning so I would strongly recommend that you amuse yourself quietly whilst I recover slowly. I promise you I will be back to normal by lunchtime.
Lots of love
Mammy
P.S. If you hear a stomping noise tomorrow night while you’re in bed – ignore it.
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Dear Colleagues
Please do not hold my actions tomorrow night against me…. I’m not like that normally.
Kind Regards
The quiet one
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Dear McDonalds
Kindly arrange for a bacon and egg McMuffin meal with an extra hash brown to be delivered to me on Saturday morning. Oh, and you should really send some pancakes and syrup for the kids and seeing as you’ll be here anyway you could throw in some McFlurries – the minty aero ones would be fab.
Your excitedly
Mrs Frugal
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Dear Wine
You and me, tomorrow night.
Lovingly
Me
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