Dear Spammers
I really don’t know where you all got my e mail address from although I suspect that I must be on the country’s most gullible people database, but I would like to request that you refrain from e mailing me a gazillion times a day trying to sell me your super potent viagara tablets or trying to interest me in a penis extension. A waste of your time and mine as I understand that you need a penis to partake in either of those things and I most definately do not have one (although I will forward the penis extension e mail to Mr Frugal).
Whilst I have your attention, I am also extremely dubious that I have inherited 12.5 million dollars (on several occasions) from a long lost relative in the USA although I may be more inclined to believe you if you didn’t ask for my bank details to transfer the money to before even telling me who has died.
I would also like to say thank you to the FBI for personally monitering my credit card account, I am honoured that I got an e mail from the Director of the FBI and that you have picked up on fraudulent activity before it even happened but wouldn’t I be better blocking my card with my card issuer than giving you the details to ‘aid your investigation’?
And don’t even get me started on oppressed nations and over thrown royal families who would like me to assist them in getting their money out of their country. If I was going to do this I wouldn’t be paying you for the pleasure of doing so, would I?
So just to clarify – THE ANSWER IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE NO!
Yours sincerely
Magic Mummy
