I know it’s not ideal to get parenting tips from Harry Enfield but when I think about my children growing up, I always picture Kevin from that Harry Enfield sketch – you know the one where he goes to bed on the eve of his thirteenth birthday as a sweet, loving twelve year old and gets up the following morning as a moody, hormonal teenager.
Unfortunately, Miss Frugal has decided to ignore the Harry Enfield book of parenting and has started her teenage moods early which I’m finding extremely challenging at the moment. To be fair the moods are few and far between but we’ve had a couple in the last few weeks and todays one was particularly bad.
It started in the supermarket when I was letting the kids pick a little treat each from the toy aisle, she was having touble choosing between two and asked if she could have them both. I said no (very nicely) and she had a little stamp and tutted at me so I told her to put both back as naughty children didn’t get treats. This started a giant sulk which lasted until we got home when I told her to go to her room until she was ready to stop sulking and apologise for her behaviour. I won’t give you a blow by blow account of the mood but I ended up grounding her (which she said she didn’t care about), taking her laptop and TV off her (not bothered) and giving her a black sack to fill with all her dolls and teddys. The whole time she had a ‘don’t care’ look on her face and she stubbornly refused to apologise and in the end I told her I loved her very much but she was really upsetting me with the way she had been and I gave her a hug which she resisted at first but ending up hugging me back even harder and crying so much that she could hardly breathe.
She’s now in bed with no TV and only one teddy (her favourite one that my mam gave her) and she’s almost back to her usual loving self. I know I need to stick to the punishments I’ve given her but it’s really hard because I feel like I’ve gone overboard on her punishment, mostly because of the way she acted like she couldn’t care less about what I was saying.
I don’t believe in smacking children as I don’t think it sets a good example for them and once the initial sting is over, it’s over, whereas if you ground a child or take away their priveleges, the punishment lasts longer so it should be more effective, right?
What do you think, how do you punish your child?
I’ve a 22,18,15 and a nearly 2 year old. The battles of will I’ve had are no odds to anybody. Now I’m doing the second batch on my own and boy will I be firmer with him than I was his brothers xxx
Funny thing…I'm a male lone parent. Most of my friends were warning me that my son would 'do the teenage thing'. He never did….he's 19 now and has just left home…hasn't ever been a difficult teenager. He wasn't ever a difficult baby either…guess I've just been lucky…
Mini is being a cheeky little sod at the moment too. Back chat and all that. I am at a loss
I know what you mean, the attitude just comes out of nowhere! Lets hope they grow out of it sooner rather than later 😉
I think you handled it right 🙂 I have a 15 year old son and an almost 8 year old daughter. I know exactly what you mean! The thing that always got my son wasn't so much the punishment but the discussion after the storm…lol When I explained that the behaviour wasn't acceptable and I was disappointed that he chose to behave that way. My daughter is pushing the boundaries now too but like you I have done the sent to your room thng which has escalated into being grounded and to be honest it's the only way she remembers and gets the message.(she has only been grounded once so far!) As difficult as it is the only way it'll work is by sticking to it. Best of luck. Lyn x
Thanks very much – Good luck to you too, I think we'll need it 😉
Sticking to the consequences is important and I'm glad you had a cuddle and also told her how you felt. The only thing I thought you could (maybe) have done differently was to give her one warning about the attitude before he had to put both toys back. Maybe you could have said something like "You can choose one nicely or have none at all, if you huff at me you won't have any". That may have avoided what sounds like a whole afternoon of power struggling – on the other hand it may not! Stiffybing.
You have no idea how much I wish I'd done that 😉
My youngest lad – 17 now – went through all of this. We took his phone, PC, music etc off him and he still had 'that ' look on his face.
Even today – i had asked him for 2 weeks to clear his bedroom and take his stuff upstairs – yes I will but not now.
Today I told him that he could not have any tea until he had done his jobs. At 7pm MOH and I sat to eat and he came to join us. I refused to let him until ha had done as he was asked. 30 minutes later his room was clear and all the stuff had gone from the lounge. Then he ate!
Keep strong.
Sue
You have no idea how much I wish I'd done exactly that! Would have saved lots of tears and stress all round!
xx