I’ve seen lots of coverage recently of various campaigns designed to empower our daughters and to encourage them to grow up into strong women who know they can achieve anything they want to achieve in life.
And as the parent of a 14 year old girl, I wholeheartedly agree with this campaign, I really do!
I even started writing an entirely different blog post to this one with my thoughts on what we can do to encourage our daughters to be the very best they can. I got as far as making this little blog graphic to go with the post before something dawned on me….
I realised that there is nothing on that list that I say to my daughter that I don’t say to my son – he needs to hear it all just as much as she does!
That got me thinking.
If we’re really talking about equality then shouldn’t we be empowering our sons too? Shouldn’t we be teaching our sons AND our daughters that everyone is equal and that no one sex is stronger than the other. If we do this now then their belief in equality will be strong enough that when they’re older, they simply won’t accept any sexism, be it unconscious or deliberate, from anyone.
I get that there are definite issues with the way the world looks at (and treats) women and that my view is a very simplistic view that doesn’t take that into account but on the whole, I genuinely think we should be treating our children equally and not working harder to empower our daughters than we do our sons.
There’s a few things that spring to my mind when I think about the recent campaigns I’ve seen. The first is a quote that I’ve seen circulating:
Teach your daughters to worry less about fitting into glass slippers and more about breaking through glass ceilings.
Without a doubt, it’s a great quote and it’s certainly doing the rounds lately but what about teaching our sons that they can achieve everything in life that they want to achieve?
Another thing that bothers me are the articles and posts that I’ve read about poor body image in teenage girls. Some of the statistics quoted have been quite upsetting and definitely something that needs addressing. I try to teach Miss Frugal that she’s beautiful inside and out and I hate that not every teenage girl has the same confidence that she has so yes, the statistics need to be shared and the people who are raising awareness are doing a great job.
But… I can’t help wishing that we could do the same for our boys though because I’m pretty sure that they feel the same sorts of pressure in their teenage years to look good and to fit in.
Like I say, I get that there’s a lot of other issues that make this such an emotive subject but to me, as a parent of both a son and a daughter, I’m going to teach them both that they are equal and do my very best to instill a sense of self worth into both of them.
Here’s my updated version of the graphic above….
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Your sentiment is true, of course, in an already equal world, but in a world which is sadly nowhere near equal, it will be harder for a daughter than for a son to "make it" in equivalent fields. Also, it's definitely true that there is more pressure on boys regarding appearance than there was, but it pales into insignificance when compared to the pressure on girls.
I also have a boy & a girl (15 & 12)
If we all did as you do we would have a fairer society. Unfortunately some parents don't, or maybe can't, for whatever reason they have at present. I think as long as you empower any child they may learn to go for what they want in life. The bits I feel squeamish about are the ones implying women are better than men. I realise this is to change an unequal society and give us girls a boost. As a middle aged girl I feel as uncomfortable with this as I do with men being more able then women. I am all for the positive discrimination interviews and all for putting more women into all society that they want to. Despite this I don't want men/boys to be treated as many women/girls are now. Thanks for this thought. It's a great one.
You are right, equality dictates that we promote self esteem and values in both – but currently your son will earn 15-20% more than your daughter for the same work and will be more likely to be given any pay rise requested so your daughter needs to learn to stand up for her rights in a way your son currently doesn't need to – unfortunately gender bias is still a thing 🙁
It is a good comment, but as someone who is currrently trying to launch new initiatives for women engineers in our business ive noticed that women need a bigger boost to make it. Which is where this empowerment comes in, we should empower our children, but some need a bigger boost than others and so in this the push for empowerment might need to be unequal and give women a better ‘leg up’. Great subject to discuss and many views to consider!
I think you are right. We are always going on about empowering our daughters, but really it needs to be our children. Both need empowered. Really interesting read xx