Out of school activities – how do you choose….

September 21, 2013 By Cassandra
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Now that we’re two weeks in to the new school year, we’re starting to get all the leaflets and hype about all of the various out of school activities that our children should be doing.

We’ve had leaflets sent home from school, leaflets through the door and even some recommendations in the weekly school newsletter and honestly, there’s so much choice that you could easily be doing something after school every day and at weekends and still not fit them all in!

My two have tried out lots of out of school clubs and activities since they started school but if I’m honest, they’ve given most of them up for one reason or another:

Violin and orchestra were fun but the violin lessons clashed with PE every week and the school couldn’t reschedule so we stopped them….

Dancing was great fun until they merged the older children in with the younger ones which didn’t please Miss Frugal as she felt a bit intimidated by the older, louder girls….

Gymnastics was great until it stopped being fun because it got all competitive….

Trampolining was fun until the classes stopped so we now have a 10ft trampoline in our back garden which is used almost every day….

Karate was never fun so we only stayed for a few classes….

Football was great but cold….

Rainbows were great but Brownies not so much….

I could go on!

I’m happy for them to try different things and if they don’t enjoy them or they stop being fun, we hang in there for another couple of weeks to see if things change and then if they don’t, we just stop going. I don’t see it as giving up, just them knowing that they’re not enjoying something and moving on to something else.

It makes me sad to see children at horse riding who hate it but their mum’s make them go because it’s what they want for their children. And don’t even get me started on the parents at football who stand on the sidelines and tell their children off for missing a shot or not tackling someone.

Children should be enjoying what they’re doing, not doing something to fulfill a parents dream or because their parents think they should be doing a certain activity!

This year, Miss Frugal is going to be doing horse riding again (when she gets back to the top of the waiting list), guitar lessons and Saturday mornings at a primary school university. Master Frugal is going to an after school judo club but he’s not too bothered about anything else just yet. They’ve chosen everything that they want to do and I’ll happily taxi them around and encourage them but if they ask if they can stop going, I won’t be forcing them to stay!

Cost is an issue but horse riding we just do once every two weeks and guitar lessons we’ve booked her in to a group lesson so although she won’t learn as quick because it’s not one on one, it costs just £3 a week as opposed to private lessons which would cost us £20 a go.

How do you choose what after school activities your children will do?

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Comments (15)

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Livesey girl · 601 weeks ago

Ooo this is interesting. We're not quite there yet as we only have one in part time school. However we have always said swimming is non negotiable through primary school. Our little school boy has just started. This is non negotiable because we live by the sea (not because we have unrealistic olympiad dreams for our children). All being well baby 3 will arrive in January so we want to be mindful of cost from the outset. So all kids will do swimming and then they can choose one other activity of their choice. This can be changed as they wish but if we have paid for a 1/2 term (or whatever) up front we will ask them to complete this time. Obviously as long as they are not being bullied/have an injury/are unwell etc.

In theory this should mean that I have enough week to factor in 4 activities!

1 reply · active 601 weeks ago

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Cass@FrugalFamily 96p · 601 weeks ago

We live near the sea too and I completely agree that it's so important for them to know how to swim.
That 's our non negotiable too ;-)

You'll feel like a taxi driver in no time x x

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bw1310 59p · 601 weeks ago

Daughter doing guides and musical theatre as of this month! Both helping her to tap her creativity. Son doing beavers, swimming and football! We have weekends clear and Thursday is a no activity day :-)) they pay for own clubs out of savings too!

1 reply · active 601 weeks ago

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Cass@FrugalFamily 96p · 601 weeks ago

I bet you look forward to Thursdays ;-)

I love that they pay for their own clubs too x

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Leanne Grieve · 601 weeks ago

For the horse riding kids - I always wanted to ride horses when I was younger and my parents also were not impressed with the costs. years later I have 7 of my own horses and I run a horse Share business. The kids come to me for 6 weeks of initial training as a group of 8 ( currently funded so they pay nothing) then they have smaller sessions of 2 students to one teacher, and the aim is that they will be able to tack up a horse, mount and ride around in a walk safely on their own. Then they graduate to Horse Share.
We charge £50 per month, and the kids that are part of the horse share get to come and take care of their horse for one half day session a week ( 3 hours!) and in that time groom, feed, ride and do everything with their horse that they would if it was their own, including picking up the poo!

1 reply · active 601 weeks ago

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Cass@FrugalFamily 96p · 601 weeks ago

That sounds fantastic Leanne, I wish you were closer to us!

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Suffolk Girl · 601 weeks ago

I have two children and spend Wednesday to Thursday doing after school activities. My Son does football and beavers, my daughter does ballet and violin. Saturday morning they both do tennis. I always let them try and if they wish to continue they can but I don't mind if they wish to give up. This year has been a shock as we have paid out nearly £300 for these activities I know it lady's a term but I do wish you could pay weekly for things as everyone one wants paying upfront whether they continue or not.

1 reply · active 601 weeks ago

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Cass@FrugalFamily 96p · 601 weeks ago

I think it's great that you let them try new things - not so great about having to pay out so much all at once. Paying weekly is much better for budgeting isn't it?

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Suffolk Girl · 601 weeks ago

I have two children and spend Monday to Thursday doing after school activities. My Son does football and beavers

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Humdrum mum · 601 weeks ago

We have started at a new school so it's been letter after letter. We already do football at weekends, park meet with old pals on a Thursday, Beavers, swimming ... Just about to try karate as I'd like another physical discipline - see what he thinks. Of course having one is easier on cost and travel. But I need to keep a few days free so we can park it if it's nice, or just chill at home. He's still tired after school at the moment tho ... -HMx

1 reply · active 601 weeks ago

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Cass@FrugalFamily 96p · 601 weeks ago

That's another good point - sometimes they just need to chill out at home don't they. Especially at this time of year when my two always seem more tired than usual. Karate is suppsed to be really good for self discipline isn't it?

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frugal queen · 601 weeks ago

This is interesting. Sometimes, whenever anything gets hard, kids will want to give up. If we as adults are quitters by nature then we usually let the kids give up too. It often takes a good six months to be passable at something, such as dance or horse riding but anyone would need to stick at it for a few years to be any good. It's the same with music. When we are good at something then we can join in and it can be fun. Dancing is great when you are in shows, music is great when you play with the local brass band. However, no one is ever any good to start and even though it's hard as parents we have to get our kids to stick with learning skills. Parents need to ask themselves, is it easy to let them give up as you won't hear the being upset. I made my kids stick at hobbies and as adults they appreciate the fact that I didn't let them give up. Both have resilience and some of that comes from getting them to stick at things. As a rule, they did one thing on two nights after school - my son it was tennis, choir and music, my daughter, it was drama and tennis.

1 reply · active 601 weeks ago

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Cass@FrugalFamily 96p · 601 weeks ago

Hmmmm, I don't think it's because it's hard or because they're not good at it that they want to quit. They just know if an activity is for them or not and although I do encourage them to stick to something for a few weeks after they've let me know that they're not enjoying it, I wouldn't pay to make them do something they weren't enjoying.

After all, if I'd made her stick to violin lessons, she wouldn't have discovered how much she loved playing the guitar and she would have been missing PE every week. If I'd made her go to dancing when she clearly didn't enjoy it, she would have never started horse riding which she loves. She's not good at either of those activities really but she enjoys them and at her age, that's all that I want.

Good to hear a different opinion though ;-)

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becky · 601 weeks ago

My kids have tried out many activities and now seem to have found what they love, exceopt for music we are stiull searching for THAT instrument. One acts, plays footie and goes to cubs and tennis the other ballet, modern dance and tennis. Lucky children lots of options. Like your s Cass they have tried many things becuas eI wanted htem to have choices and they moved on not because it was hard except for the guitar, that was too hard for his tiny fingers, but because it didn't light their fire. It has taken a few years to be good at tennis but they have always had fun with it. Good teachers make such a difference . I want them to do what makes their heart sings and sometimes that takes some exploring.

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SeasiderClare · 601 weeks ago

I only have the one and he has to do swimming but other than that he can choose. Last term he did tennis but now is starting beavers on that night so has swapped. At the moment he really wants to play golf which we are really happy about but we are trying hard not to push him so that it remains something he enjoys into the future.
It's good for them at this age to try a variety of things i think.