Summer Holiday Letters….

Dear School

I would like to register my dissatisfaction at the fact that you have taken the decision to close for six weeks.  How on earth do you expect parents to keep children entertained for six whole weeks!

Also, to the teacher who painted my sons face yesterday with some sort of indelible face paint – Thanks!

Yours Angrily

A frustrated parent

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Dear Mr Frugal

I’m very pleased that you managed to con talk the children into swapping the Wii for an X Box, however, I happened to like the High School Musical dance game for the Wii and I’m a little bit upset you swapped it for some death killy game. 

Love from your sad wife (sad in both meanings of the word lol)

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Dear X Box

I just wanted to let you know that if your babysitting skills are not up to scratch, you will be going back to the shop you came from before you can say ‘I want my Wii back’ (which I do incidentally).  Your predecessor had excellent babysitting skills and was able to keep the children quiet and entertained for hours at a time while I played on my laptop and I expect you to be equally as competent.

Your assertively

The parent of the two terrors who are currently arguing over who has the black controller and who has the white one.

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Dear Wii

I miss you.

Love Always,

The mad woman who used to pretend she was dancing with Troy from High School Musical

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Dear Bank Manager

I thought it only fair to let you know that I will be poorer than usual this month due to the fact that the children are off school and they have a loooooong list of things they absolutely have to do – the cost of which may well hamper my ability to pay non essential bills such as, food, electricity, mortgage etc.

Kind Regards

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Dear Children

The words ‘I’m bored’ and ‘we never do anything interesting’ are completely unacceptable in this house for the next six weeks.

Also, I love you both and I love spending time with you but I would like to be able to have a few minutes to myslef between now and September – Let’s say one bath a week where I am allowed to shut the door and have no interruptions for a whole half an hour! 

Love you both

Mummy

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Dear Wine

Same time, same place

Love you

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