I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m scared about what’s going on in the world right now, it genuinely feels to me like nowhere’s safe and as a parent, that’s an awful feeling.
I’ve watched the news of the attacks across the world and even the first attack in London to a certain degree with feelings of shock, horror and devastation for the people who have been caught up in them but also with the feeling that my little corner of the world was still safe.
And then the Manchester attack happened and I felt the same shock, horror and devastation but the fact that it was so much closer to home and somewhere I’ve been myself to watch concerts made it personal. It made me feel like my little family was no longer safe and the fact that it was children who were targeted in Manchester made it feel so much worse. It shouldn’t I know because a life lost is a life lost but one of the victims was the same age as Miss Frugal and that just seemed to hit me more.
I cried as many of you will have done for the children who died who won’t get to grow up and experience life as they should have done.
We were planning a short break to Edinburgh before we flew to Milan last week but the attack really put me off travelling full stop. We cancelled our plans in Edinburgh and booked and it was only after a lot of thought that we decided to go ahead with our plans for Milan.
We had a great time but I did consciously avoid the very touristy places with just a quick visit to see the beautiful Duomo in Milan.
We had planned to do a roof walk of the cathedral but it didn’t appeal to me at all when I saw the crowds of people there so we looked at it from a distance, admired the beauty and moved on. I might have felt slightly more inclined to get close if Miss Frugal hadn’t been grabbed by a man trying to sell us friendship bracelets – I thought Mr Frugal was going to punch him at one point!
We’d also planned to go and see the famous painting of the Last Supper but again, that completely lost it’s appeal to me and I was the only one who had really wanted to see it so we spent time wandering around the less busy areas of the city and visiting the nearby towns of Lake Como instead.
We even did the stadium tour at the San Siro football stadium because Mr and Master Frugal are football obsessed and when they realised how close Turin was to Milan by train they decided that we’d go and watch the match in the city itself because apparently that would be so much better than watching it in Milan.
I put my foot down because (a) it was hot and I didn’t want to travel an hour on the train to watch a football match, (b) I really didn’t fancy the thought of watching a match in a bar or on the screens in the main square when the Juventus fans could get aggro if they were losing and (c) I’m scared of large crowds right now remember.
For about half an hour, I had a slightly sulky child and a husband who understood where I was coming from but was disappointed nevertheless. The promise of an ice cream worked wonders and we enjoyed a mornings shopping and then a relax in the courtyard at the hotel before watching the match in the hotel.
I messaged a couple of friends when Juventus went behind in the match to say I was pleased I was at the hotel now and not in Turin and then went to bed with my Kindle while they watched the end of the match.
The next morning we woke not only to the news of the horrific events in London but also to the awful news that there had been a incident in Turin. Apparently a large bang had been heard in the main square and that caused major panic and a stampede injuring 1500 fans. People were literally trampled as they tried to escape what they thought was another terror attack!
We were almost there.
And I know, It wasn’t a terror attack but the fact that people are so scared right now that a loud bang (thought to possibly have been a firecracker) could cause that much panic somewhere that we could have been is so scary.
I want to wrap my little family up in cotton wool right now and not leave the house.
I know that I can’t protect them from everything and that we shouldn’t let the terrorists win but right now, I’m not sure that I can just carry on regardless.
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